Cryptid Chronicle - Chapter 142 PART 1

A special thanks to Blue for the wonderful original story and sandbox to play in.

A special thanks to my editors MarblecoatedVixen, LordHenry7898, RandomTinkerer, Klick0803, heretical_hatter, CatsInTrenchcoats, hedgehog_5051, Swimming_Good_8507, RobotStatic, J-Son, Arieg, and Rhion

And a big thanks to the authors and their stories that inspired me to tell my own in this universe. RandomTinkerer (City Slickers and Hayseeds), Punnynfunny (Denied Operations), CompassWithHat (Top Lasgun), CarCU131 (The Cook), and Rhion-618 (Just One Drop)

Hy’shq’e Ay Si’am (Thank you noble friends)

Chapter 142: Sitry Vaida and the Horrible, Rotten, No Good, Very Bad Date

“Relax, Andrei, you’re more nervous than the girls are.”

Andy looked over at Dr. He’osforos as they made their way through the bustling crowds of the Plaza de Vaasconia. Dodging a rather large family of Shil, Andy tugged at his new burgundy turtleneck, pulling it away from his throat. A cool breeze cut through his teal sport coat, and he shivered. The subtle pull of the silver twine, studded with garnets that laced his hair, caused him to want to shake his braid out.

Around them, the rosy granite buildings with their traditional colonnades and arched porticos topped with blue roofs ascended and watched over them elegantly. It would have been captivating to simply find a place out of the flow of the crowd and take in all the beautiful ostentation, but there were other things on Andy’s mind.

“Is it always this crowded, Doc?” Andy asked as he looked down at his omnipad. Already, they were fifteen minutes late, thanks to the line of shuttle taxis that had been circling the public pads. It also hadn’t helped that Dr. He’osforos had insisted on redoing the ornamentation in his hair, causing them to leave later than Andy had wanted. “I’m just worried that the girls might… miss us?”

“It is the afternoon before the Shel, but…” The little man acknowledged as the two of them strode through the crowd toward the central fountain, “This is a bit busier than I would have expected.”

Andy twisted and turned as they reached the edge of the fountain, “And they told us to meet them… here, right?”

“By the Grand Sundial,” Dr. He’osforos confirmed as he pointed toward the other side of the plaza, “Just over there- Oh! There they are!” he said, smiling as he guided Andy’s gaze to the break in the crowd before them.

Andy felt like he’d been struck as he clapped his eyes on Sitry, Kalai, and their chaperone Aftasia. He could feel his eyes bulge, and only by a miracle of self control was he able to stop his jaw from dropping.

Having bucked the traditional Vaascon style that he’d been expecting, Andy stared at two visions of beauty that had clearly pulled out all the stops to look amazing. Kalai was dressed like ‘the girl next door’, wearing a royal blue sleeveless shirt dress. The effect was similar to if she’d been Human and wearing red. Silver buttons started at the top, where a pulled back collar left little exposed, but hinted and framed the woman she was. Her skirt cinched at the hips with a small belt, and flared slightly at the knees, where it cut off. Kalai held a matching clutch in front of her as she walked, and Andy couldn’t help but admire her arms and her shoulders.

The only thing that could tear Andy’s eyes off of Kalai was Sitry, her outfit reminiscent of a post-war pin-up. Contrasting with her Shil’vati companion, the red headed bunnygirl wore an emerald green single piece Andy vaguely remembered being called ‘a wiggle-dress’; and boy did it live up to its name. Off-the-shoulder with no collar, low cut, tailored, fitted, and nipped in at the waist, Sitry was dressed to kill. Her ensemble closely hugged her from the waist down, tight and curvy in a way that showed off her hips and legs. Her red hair curved back on the top, cascading down to her shoulders, where it curled again in the back. The only cogent thought that was anywhere near clean was that she’d look right at home on the nose of a four engined bomber.

Andy felt like he was in a surreal dream. There was no way that women as beautiful as these were there for him. His heart skipped a beat when the two girls recognized him, lighting up with bright smiles and quickened paces. Kalai practically bounced every step with her skirt fluttering, while Sitry sashayed, hips swaying as both of them all but hypnotized Andy with the comely way they moved.

“Hey, sailor,” Kalai greeted him in a way that she may have meant to be smooth, but came out just goofy enough for Andy to recover the power to think and to speak. He was entirely grateful to her for it.

“You’re looking handsome, Mr. Shelokset,” Sitry purred, smiling. Andy gulped loudly, once again at a loss as he focused on the sanguine color of her lipstick.

“Ladies?” Andy wheezed while Dr. He’osforos and Aftasia hid knowing grins, “You both look… stunning.”

Both girls flushed and dipped their chins bashfully. Dr. He’osforos stepped forward to his daughter’s elbow with a proud smile as he gestured to Andy. “It’s true, The Dragon himself was stopped in his tracks the moment he saw you.”

“As clear an endorsement as I’ve ever heard him give,” Aftasia chortled as she stood by her daughter. “Girls, we are in your care today.”

With that, Sitry and Kalai stepped away from their parents to Andy’s side, beaming at him as they did. Instinctively, Andy held both arms out and was immediately bookended. “So, where to?” he asked politely, only just managing to stop his voice from cracking.

“This way!” Sitry declared, dramatically pointing with her free hand as she gently pulled Andy and Kalai along.

Andy desperately tried to maintain his composure as they made their way through the crowds. He was at least slightly grateful for the constant stopping and starting as they dodged families and massive knots of people. It allowed him to mask his own nervousness as he felt like he could have tripped over his own feet at any moment.

Remember what Za’tarra made you promise. Just… relax. I like them, and they like me.

Andy swallowed and shoved all his anxiety and fear deep down as they approached the edge of the plaza. Sitry turned them down a pedestrian thoroughfare that led to a crenelated sea wall bordering the water. Rising above them almost fifty stories was the foot of the massive ancient edifice known as ‘The Peunt’estrecho Bridge.’ Andy stared up at it in wonder. Sailing underneath it every day with Al’antel and Za’tarra had reduced the awe-factor, but standing at the base of the first of twelve massive pillars that both supported the city that rested above and hung below the great arches once more returned its majesty to Andy’s mind. Buildings, facades, and balconies dotted the granite blocks that rose into the sky.

“You’re going to love what we’ve got planned for you today, Andy,” Sitry all but sang as they walked along with the crowd and into the shadow of The Bridge. “Our first stop is the Grotto of Niosa!”

“So, may I ask why we’re going to… what I assume is a sea cave?” Andy asked blithely as he returned his attention to the beautiful women on his arms.

“Niosa’s Grotto is-” Kalai began matter-of-factly, only for Sitry to excitedly jump in and cut her off.

“There’s the long winded religious answer, and then there’s the tourist answer,” Sitry stated primly, “The reason we’re starting here is because the mythical first Queen of Vaasconia is said to have been born there, the second daughter of Niosa and Shil-”

“The first,” Kalai growled at her friend, “Se’vasta was Vaas’ca’s little sister, not the other way around.”

Sitry waved her head too and fro, conceding the point, “Well, anyway, the Grotto is the traditional birthplace of Queen Vaas’ca and the Queendom of Vaasconia. When you visit, you get three prayer tokens, which you then place in Shrines along the Peunt’estrecho Way. Most tourists just hold onto the tokens as keepsakes, but if you follow the path to the Shrines of Niosa and finish at the Keystone, then Niosa will bless you with love and good fortune!” Sitry finished explaining excitedly, “So we’ll pop in, in and out, grab our tokens, and be off to the north arch open air market and-”

Sitry stopped suddenly, nearly causing both Kalai and Andy to trip over each other, while Dr. He’osforos and Aftasia ran into the back of them. Looking forward, a massive traffic jam of people had formed under a great sign advertising the Grotto, and the wait times were currently listed as being over an hour.

“And… and…” Sitry sputtered, “What is going on? It’s NEVER this busy!”

Andy looked over at Kalai, who was similarly flummoxed at the crowd of people in front of them. “You’re right, it’s never-”

“MERRY FEAST, PILGRIMS! Please note that, due to the holy day, wait times at the Shrines will be longer than usual. If you are in need of accommodations, please speak to one of the Jrefellian or Niosian anchorites.”

The announcer’s voice over the PA system succinctly answered their question without meaningfully explaining anything. There was a long pause as Sitry and Kalai stared at each other in horror, when the two adults stepped around them so they could all speak.

“It’s not a holiday, what are they talking about?” Aftasia asked.

“Oh, dear goddesses, I totally didn’t think of it! It’s the Whipping Feast!” Dr. He’osforos groaned, grabbing the bridge of his nose.

“No it’s not, Papa!” Kalai protested, “The Whipping Feast is next month!”

“You’re thinking of the Reformed Temple calendar, Kalai, after the calendars were standardized to the solar cycle,” Dr. He’osforos shook his head, laughing to himself in disbelief, “Niosian Old Believers still celebrate the feasts on the lunar cycle.”

“Oh dear,” Aftasia gasped, covering her mouth with a hand, “which means…”

“It’s going to be packed along the entire route with pilgrims,” Dr. He’osforos nodded primly, staring at the line.

“Maybe we could… try a different venue?” Aftasia offered, trying to be helpful as Sitry and Kalai started having a whispered fight behind Andy’s back.

“At three in the afternoon, when the city’s filled with Old Believers?” Dr. He’osforos countered, laughing at the absurdity, “We’d have better luck receiving an invitation to the Imperial Palace for an Audience than finding an open spot in the city, now.”

“Just what is the Whipping Feast?” Andy asked, gently guiding them all to stand in line while Kalai and Sitry continued their whispered fight.

“Rope, Mr. Shelokset,” Dr. He’osforos explained, “The feast commemorates the invention of rope, specifically sailing rope. The Regatta you’re going to be sailing in is the… official feast day. It’s a day to commemorate sailing and sailors.”

“Andy?” Kalai’s voice wavered in worry, “We know you don’t like crowds, and… normally…” she said, shooting Sitry the dirtiest look, “The Peunt’estrecho Way is… quiet. We don’t want you to be uncomfortable, but… maybe we alter course back to the Vaida Warren and just… tour the grounds there?”

“That might be a problem if any Season reporter were to see them. We logged this date with the Duke, and it’s on the calendar. If we’re seen to deviate, then that might…” Aftasia added, cautioning them as she looked over the crowd, while more people fell in behind them.

“You’re right. It would play out poorly in the society columns,” Dr. He’osforos agreed.

Andy saw Sitry’s disappointment, seeing the impending disaster for them and for him. I’m not going to let that happen.

Turning on the charm and smiles, Andy took a deep breath and found his inner peace, blocking out everything else except for them. “Actually? I’d like to go on this date you two planned, crowds and festival goers and all. So long as I’m with you, I know I’ll have fun.”

Sitry perked up, gripping his arm like a lifeline, “You… you would? Really? You’re not just being… well… you about it?”

“I want to spend the day with you two. If you think that’d be better at the Warren, or back at VRISM, or… wherever? I’m game. Besides, if it’s just long waits, then it’ll be long waits with both of you.” Andy reassured them as several of their line neighbors started to take notice of them. Andy gave a few goggling pre-teen girls who were staring at him a wary side-glance as they whispered and started frantically pulling out their omnipads to take pictures, “And I’d like to see what all the hubbub’s about.”

“Well… if you’re sure, then I guess we’ll just sail through the tempests together,” Kalai hedged as she wove her arm into his possessively.

Andy noticed that they were catching all the stares as they waited, slowly ambling their way forward. It should have been his worst nightmare, as the giggles and incessant picture-taking of the girls behind them threatened to annoy Andy to the point of giving up, but the mean mugging of Kalai and Sitry kept them thankfully at bay. Instead, Andy focused on the rest of his surroundings. He quickly noticed that most of the younger children around them were wearing what looked to be woven sticks and rocks around their heads, while everyone else seemed to be wearing a pendant with brightly painted seashells that had sharp spines sticking out.

“So, walk me through this Whipping Feast. What’s the deal?” Andy asked, turning to Kalai and Sitry.

“Oh… well, it’s the feast commemorating the invention of rope for sailing. Children wear crowns of coral in memory of Queen Vaa’sca, which they make at home or school. They’re painted and decorated as a sort of art project, which families will print from a fabber. Real old school families go out diving for coral pieces, but you can only do that in sanctioned coral farm areas.”

“Conservation?” Andy asked, genuinely curious now as he looked at some of the children's crowns, trying to see if he could tell the difference between a fabbed and a real coral set.

“Safety,” Sitry remarked smugly, “Helix sharks and sea-scorpions. They’re really territorial.”

Kalai nodded in agreement. “Vaasconia’s original crown was made of coral, and it’s said that the first crown jewels were the shells of the spiny sea snails. So it’s traditional to get a painted shell, and children wear coral crowns to celebrate Niosa’s holy days here in her daughter’s Queendom. The Old Believers say that the Whipping Feast happens to be the day Niosa tricked Killa into making rope strong enough to bind the wind.”

“Killa? The goddess of healing?” Andy asked, canting his head to the side, “Why her?”

“Because she fell for the trick,” Kalai answered, snickering.

“Our next stop after we visit the Grotto is the North Arch Market and the Shrine of Sailor’s Prosperity. There are some curio shops and stalls along the way. We’ll even get a painted shell for you up there!” Sitry babbled, seemingly back to her bubbly self.

“Not one from just any old shop! Most everyone just uses a fabber to print off a cheap knock-off for tourists! We need one from one of the diver stalls!” Kalai confirmed with an authoritative nod, which Sitry returned.

“Sounds like a good plan,” Andy smiled as he looked at all the different designs and colors of the shells the adults around him were wearing.

“Excuse me, my lord, but… would you happen to be Andrei Shelokset?” A Shil’vati man standing in front of them asked as he peered around the six women and score of children Andy assumed was his family.

When Andy nodded, the man beamed happily as he held out his fist politely. “Your highness, it’s a pleasure to meet you! May I say that your Fa’nuutzi is absolutely gorgeous?”

“Thank you very much,” Andy replied, bumping the man’s fist while his wives arranged themselves to be presented.

“And, my ladies, may I ask… is that… are those… new Ge’Venchys?” The man asked, clearly in awe as he stared at Kalai and Sitry’s dresses.

“I… yes, how did you know?” Sitry asked warily.

“I follow the Season and the Fashion Houses very closely, my lady,” the man proclaimed excitedly while more and more people turned to see what all the commotion was. The husband and father stepped to the side as the ladies presented themselves, along with their children. The younger ones being brash and bold, while the older ones seemed to shrink and blush. “Ooh! Are these the new colors? Oh, the teal and silver look is so fresh! And the royal blue with the emerald green! You make the cutest throuple! Oh, forgive me, I can’t help myself, but… may I ask for a picture with your party and the family?” the man continued.

“Dear, it’s poor manners to intrude on a date in progress-” one of the lead wives chided her husband.

“It’s no trouble, we don’t mind,” Dr. He’osforos interjected nimbly, “We’d be happy to, Mister…?”

Andy smiled as he checked out a little bit, fading into the background with Sitry and Kalai as Dr. He’osforos and their neighbors in the line began networking. Andy bumped fists and smiled with scores of women and men, exchanging pleasantries while Kalai and Sitry took the lead. Slowly but surely, they moved with the line forward toward the sea and a smooth set of stairs carved into the rock.

Eventually, Sitry and Kalai extracted themselves while Dr. He’osforos and Aftasia ran interference on their behalf. Andy smiled at the two of them pleasantly, “On the plus side, at least they’re not listening in on us anymore.”

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Kalai all but whined, clearly concerned about him.

“I’ll tell you what, ladies,” Andy grinned, heart warming at both the girls’ concern for him, “If I’m uncomfortable, I’ll let you know immediately.”

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