Should I get together with my ex?

I broke up with my boyfriend on a saturday afternoon because I was getting ready for colleges and stressed out with everything. I told him that I know that i am going to neglect his needs and that it isn't going to be healthy for both of us. So me and him sat in my car and talked out everything and I decided to break it off because of colleges and that I was drained from the arguements. We broke up on good terms and we ended with a kiss and a hug.

When I drove back home, I was on the floor crying and my brother was even concerned. So then I had a performance the next day and I was so depressed and my mind couldnt even function properly. Basically I didn't time to myself to reflect everything that had just happened. After performance I finally went home and went in the shower and cried my eyes out and bawled and everything else.

After all that happened, I felt numb, its like I didn't feel anything at all. Then, I went to travel for a vacation for 2 days and I definitely feel better and my mind is more relaxed. So then when I came back, I am more calm and not very much sad anymore.

Yet, during all those times, he texted me apologizing and I also apologized but I ended with saying that when we are both healed, maybe or maybe not we will come back together. And then went on no contact. But still, we still stalk each other's repost in tiktok and sneakily putting our bios about getting back together. But idk if I want to or not now.. because I still miss him but I am doing fine without him..