lust vs romance

i don’t know why they have to be so separate. i make it a rule for myself to not want anyone anymore but im only human, craving companionship is natural. i just cant find it in me to believe there is anyone out there i would meet paths with in real life that would have the same intensity of emotions and passion towards me. its not even about my body my health nothing. its just me. i love joking around. i love being sarcastic and silly and i love being extreme and overly self expressive and over explain everything about myself im curious about everything i feel every thing too hard and every little thing cracks my heart. that is what scares people away. i dont know why it is such a bad thing to be so intense. im so tired of online, but my health prevents me from ending up in a situation of meeting someone who is right for me.