I hate being so skinny and weak

16 and I can’t even go past 10 pushups, I know nothing about anything, I tried lifting but i gave up just cause this voice in my head telling me I’m pathetic, I know this sounds stupid but I wish I could be more motivated, my father passed 6 years ago so I never got advice from him, discipline, idk what to do besides asking reddit, I feel cringy posting this