Friends going to play party and it’s bringing back old feelings.

My friend told me they’re going to a play party with their partner (who I’m also friends with) and two of our mutual friends. It’s specifically a BIPOC party and I’m white so I can’t go which ofc I have no problem with! I’d never push myself into a space that wasn’t for me.

But the situation is bringing back emotions from another group of people I’m no longer friends with. Who all became sexually / romantically interested in each other and became a polycule that I wasn’t part of and they all basically forgot about me. Actually that happened to me twice. On top of that I’ve had awful luck dating in general. Mainly due to my gender identity / presentation but anyway I’ve been worried forever that my current friend group will do the same thing and this is (prob irrationally) triggering that anxiety.

I don’t know if I should say something and/or what I would even say. I don’t want them to think I “feel excluded as white person because I’m not allowed in a BIPOC space” and I don’t want it to come off like I want to fuck / play with them. They already said they would’ve invited me if it wasn’t a BIPOC-only party. And I already said I’d like to come the next time if it’s a mixed space.

But yeah, I didn’t tell them how triggered I’m feeling and idk if I should say anything. Looking for advice and emotional support. Thanks.