How do I stop thinking about sex when I am never going to be good enough to get it?

Look please don't call me an incel or a freak or not a real man. I don't blame anyone for my lack of sex but myself.

I(29M) grew up in a house constantly bullied by parents never learned game or confidence. In college I went to parties, and had fun, I had some drunk make outs, but never had game enough for any girl to go out with me.

I didn't take care of my body and at 5'6 and being brown I needed to. Then during Covid combined with pharmacy school and a 20 hour a week job the only free time I had I went out with my buddies but never learned how to pick up women or as my buddies say "make their pussy wet by talking."

I didn't want to sleep with drunk women even though encouraged by buddies a few times. They said most women don't even remember.

I thought things would get better after graduation, now 3 years after, I had a string of rough jobs one's I worked nights and I am now home burnt out from job. I am living at home applying for jobs, going to gym hard like till I puke, and diet, therapy.

At this point, I get it. Women don't want a guy with no experience. Personality only matters when he knows how to fuck her brains out.

I just don't know how to forget about sex. I don't want to pay a prostitute yet, I am trying to save money to move out of house again.

Any advice? I asked my doctor about chemical castration he said no.