AIO Brother-in-law mooching during the winter storm

My (35 F) husband’s older brother (40 M) has had a tough life (by his own doing) and my husband (37 M) has been his support and best friend through it all. My BIL is single but wants to be married and have a family, but has made minimal effort to get there. He wants a different career, but also doesn’t really put in much effort to get there. He’s lived on the east coast close to us for 3 years and still doesn’t have any friends or community of his own. My husband is really his only friend.

When he first moved out here, he stayed with us for like 6 months (was only supposed to be 2-3) and I tried to roll with it. Things got weirdly tense between him and I because he’s super sensitive and thought I wasn’t being welcoming to him anymore even though nothing had changed on my end. It was super awkward and it was never talked about. My husband was super confused too, but stuck up for him saying he’s had a hard life, is really sensitive and insecure, blah blah blah. I worked on letting it go and now things are fine between us, but not comfortable.

Once he moved out of our house into his own (30 minutes away), he still would come over to hang on the weekend and end up staying at our house multiple nights unplanned. This got under my skin (I plan and cook all the meals, buy all the groceries, and have a toddler to take care of - so I feel like I have to add one more mouth to feed and my husband is always super distracted when he’s over and they’re bro-ing out together while I’m left to manage everything else at home - he will step up if I ask, but he’s not present with me like when we’re alone) and I told my husband I was uncomfortable with it. I wouldn’t have minded if my BIL was like “hey, can I come stay a few nights” and I agreed and then he stayed, but it’s the surprise and unknown of how long he’ll be around for. I value boundaries, plans, and the ability to have proper expectations for my time. My husband was kind of hurt I felt this way but could sort of understand my points. So things got better and he hasn’t been just posting up at our home as much lately.

But today, my BIL offered to help us move some stuff from storage to our home which was super kind and we took him up on it. We got done moving all the stuff around 3pm and my husband and BIL had a few beers. With the looming snowmegedan planned to start tonight (we’re about to get snowed/iced in and lose power for who knows how long) it was expected he would leave after dinner around 7 before the bad weather hit. I’ve been super anxious about this storm and really trying to prep (water, extra batteries and power sources, food prep and planning, thinking through blankets and clothing for everyone - I have a toddler and I’m 7 months pregnant). Well BIL just kept drinking and drinking and even when my husband was trying to be polite and say he needs to sober up to drive home, he didn’t. And now, at 11pm, he’s passed out on our couch and I’m so mad and upset. I feel taken advantage of. I feel like he’s such a mooch. I feel unprepared to also feed and clothe and take care of a 40 year old man through this storm. I also don’t want to be around him and trapped inside with him for the foreseeable future. I got really upset and my husband said “he’s just lonely” but then saw how upset I was and said “sorry this is happening” but I know my husband is disappointed I’m not more open to my BIL staying with us through the storm. Am I overreacting? Should I be more open, welcoming, and a doormat to my 40 year old lonely BIL??

Summary: my BIL seems to have trapped himself at our home on purpose (through getting too drunk to drive home) before this terrible winter storm strikes and we lose power, potentially lose water, and can’t be on the roads because of ice and I’m left unprepared and frustrated to include him in our storm plans. AIO?