am I borderline or am I just weird 18F

so recently I was talking to this guy with npd who also happens to be on the spectrum and ALSO was not over his ex. I was constantly chasing him and I believed if I showed enough care he’d be able to reciprocate, or at least develop an obsession with me like he did with his ex. unfortunately, this did not happen. we would tell each other we loved each other but I would be more romantic towards him.. or actually he was never really romantic, it was genuinely just me being all over him (not literally). One day i felt really happy and upon talking to him I realized he probably wouldn’t be able to love me or obsess over me like I wanted him to, so I blocked him and cut him off everywhere. I still checked his profile afterwards and his reposts but it looks like he didn’t care. The next day I was sobbing and crying. The thing is, I’ve never been this obsessed or anxiously attached with someone. I’m always avoidant. I think healthy relationships are boring. I was so obsessed that I told him we would die together, that one day I’d slice his neck and suck the blood out of it just to get an authentic taste of him. I want to unblock him and message him but that would be really embarassing..