And now we hear the internal monologue of Nick S except not really because he's a dumbass

I was brought into the White House, at a training event for alt-right viral influencers. Laura was there.

Previously I thought everyone who lived in Minnesota was a white person originally from Scandinavia. 

Then I was told that’s not true. The attorney general was a convert to Islam from black America. There was an entire apartment complex that had majority brown/black people who wore hijabs and came from East Africa in Minneapolis.

Then mom understood to me that I had to take action to save our country. 

I flew over. I brought cameras and a crew of men. We knocked on doors, demanded to see kids, we covered faces.

No one was there or opened the door to me. Then I understood: it’s all because they’re pirates. They're stealing ALL the money in Minnesota!

I freed the ship, I let everyone see what I did. Elon re-tweeted me, Bondi said I stood for justice.

Now people tell me I contributed to folks being unalived through being a massive tool and idiot. 

Mom, JD Vance --- is that true?