Confessed a work crush, got rejected, now I’m embarrassed and spiraling

I need to vent because my brain will not shut up.

I stow and he’s a PA in stow (already know… risky). Over time there was a lot of intense eye contact. He would always linger near me. A few times he would come stand next to me and just look at me. One time we were literally staring at each other for what felt like a full minute everything around us faded and it felt like it was just us. Then he looked at my lips, which made me really shy, so I broke eye contact. Moments like that made the tension feel very real to me.

We barely talked, but the nonverbal stuff felt strong. We’re both shy and awkward around each other, which made everything feel even more charged and confusing. I get nervous easily, so I probably stared more than I should have too, and I definitely built it up in my head more than I realized.

After two plus weeks of playing eye tag I decided to tell him how i feel about him. I found his Instagram (i had to look up his full name on A to Z…i know kinda creepy). I somehow found his account and DM’d him. I told him I enjoyed our interactions and asked if he’d want to talk outside of work.

He said he doesn’t mix work and personal life and that we could just be friends. When I brought up the eye contact and tension, he completely downplayed it and said it wasn’t like that and that we barely even talk.

Now I feel embarrassed, rejected, and kind of stupid for misreading everything. I keep replaying the staring, the lip glance, all of it, and wondering how I got it so wrong. The worst part is I still have to see him at work and I don’t know how to act normal without overthinking every move.

I know rejection is part of life, but this one hit hard because it felt mutual in the moment and now I feel exposed. I guess I’m just looking for reassurance that this isn’t as humiliating as it feels and that intense eye contact doesn’t always mean what we think it does.

Has anyone else been through something like this? How do you move past the embarrassment when you still see the person regularly?