I’m grieving the loss of a long relationship after discovering the truth, and it hurts more than I expected

I was with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. He was a big part of my early adulthood and my life revolved around him. He does social media content that involves flirting and being around other women, and whenever I expressed discomfort, he told me I was insecure and “not supporting his career.” I slowly learned to doubt my own instincts and let a lot of things slide that made me uncomfortable. Over time, the relationship became deeply toxic. There was constant verbal abuse, belittling, anger, and emotional neglect. I stayed far longer than I should have, believing his promises and hoping things would change. Recently, a friend told me he had another woman pregnant. I was already close to leaving because of how badly I was being treated, but hearing that shattered me. When I confronted him, he denied it and made me feel crazy for even believing it. That same day, after I asked to be left alone, he repeatedly contacted me and then sent me a private video of me that I did not know existed and did not consent to being recorded. I realized he had secretly kept it for over a year as leverage. The night before, he had even told me he had “things” on me that he could use. I panicked and begged him to delete it. Instead, he involved his mother, and they both attacked me verbally. He said incredibly cruel things, and when I mentioned going to the police, he threatened to humiliate me publicly. His mother accused me of lying and asked why I stayed if he was so toxic, which broke something in me. With encouragement from people I trust, I reported everything to the police. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. A few hours later, I was told he was arrested and charged with multiple offenses, including voyeurism and assault. I was overwhelmed with fear, guilt, and anxiety afterward. The next day, his brother messaged me asking me not to show up to court so the charges could be dropped, saying we shouldn’t “punish” the baby that’s coming (confirming the pregnancy I was made to feel delusional for believing). It’s been two weeks. I know reporting was the right decision, but emotionally I feel numb, sick, and heartbroken. I never wanted revenge. I just wanted to leave peacefully. I’m struggling to process how someone I loved could betray me so deeply, violate my trust, and then paint me as the villain.

Will this ever get easier? How do you cope with losing someone who was such a huge part of your life when the loss is mixed with trauma and betrayal?

For clarity, I’m not seeking punishment or revenge. I’m not planning to submit additional evidence or push for harsher consequences. There is a temporary protective order in place right now, and I’m focusing on distance and safety rather than escalation. Even knowing that, I’m still struggling deeply with the emotional aftermath of everything that happened.