My husband resents me for stopping trips to his brother’s family, but the effort has never been equal

I’m looking for perspective because this situation has been weighing on me.

This is about my husband’s brother. We both have kids. We have one child. They have two.

For years, the meeting point was always their home. That’s about a five hour drive for us on a good day, often longer with kids and traffic. For them, it’s roughly a 90 minute drive. Despite that imbalance, we were the ones who traveled. Holidays, birthdays, regular visits. We packed up our child, rearranged schedules, and made the drive again and again.

In all that time, they never came to us. Not once.

Two years ago, we bought a house that can comfortably accommodate everyone. Plenty of space, kid friendly, easy to host. I’ve invited them repeatedly. They still haven’t visited.

Eventually, I stopped making the five hour trip. Not out of spite. Just because it felt like the relationship only existed if we were the ones overextending ourselves. I didn’t forbid my husband from going. I didn’t issue an ultimatum. I just stopped pushing and organizing the travel.

Now we haven’t seen them in about a year and a half, and my husband resents me for it.

What makes this harder is that I have a clear comparison. My sister has two kids as well and lives a five hour flight away. And yet we alternate visits, show up for each other’s kids, and make mutual effort. So this isn’t about the number of kids or logistics. It’s about willingness.

Am I wrong for expecting some reciprocity? Or is it reasonable to stop carrying a relationship alone?

Tldr: Here’s a clean TL;DR you can drop at the top:

TL;DR: For years we drove five hours to visit my husband’s brother’s family while they only had to drive 90 minutes and never came to us. We now have a house that can host everyone, but they still haven’t visited in two years. I stopped making the long trip, and now my husband resents me even though I still invite them and I get reciprocal effort from my own sibling who lives much farther away.