[18M] How do I know if I really love my girlfriend [18F]

My girlfriend and I will have officially been together for 9 months on the 26th and recently I've been questioning whether I love my girlfriend, or if I love the idea of my girlfriend.

Before I met my girlfriend I basically wanted nothing to do with girls, I didn't want to date in high school and I just wanted to focus on strengthening my relationship with God. Then in December 2024 she adds me on Snapchat, but I don't add her back because I didn't even know who she was and didn't want to talk to anyone. She never got out of my head though and finally after some convincing from my friends I added her and we started talking on January 1 2025. I had a really good feeling about her and thought that God wanted us to be together. I eventually officially asked her out on April 26 and we've been together since.

Throughout the past like 4 months I've learned some things about her that I wasn't too thrilled about and some things I found to be unintentionally disrespectful towards me that she was doing. I told her shortly after we started dating that I wanted to wait until marriage to have sex and she said that that stuff doesn't really matter to her. Not exactly the response I was looking for, but at least she doesn't have a problem with waiting. That being said, in November we had a long talk about sex, kissing, etc., we had only kissed once on our 1 month anniversary, but in that conversation she mentioned that she thinks it's important that couples do stuff before marriage and that it was important to her and she wanted to do stuff with me. I told her in that moment no, but I would think about it. In December we had another talk and I mentioned that I'm willing to do stuff with her if she wants to. To this day we still haven't done anything, not even make out which I have nothing against making out but I just don't know how to initiate it, but I still don't know if I want to do stuff or not and I don't want to do something I'm gonna regret either.

I had struggled with lust for a while and I finally had gotten over it and then I met her. She helped me leave that life of lust and she didn't even know it. Anytime I was tempted I would just think, why would she wanna be with a man who watches and does this stuff and I continued to grow my relationship with God from being free of lust. I loved that God had put her in my life because she was helping grow closer to him. Later on while we were in the talking stage and then in a relationship I found out that she does believe in God, but isn't very focused on a relationship with God, drinks, cusses, is lustful and doesnt really seem to care to change. I want to be with someone thats gonna help me grow closer to God not pull me away from him. I know there has to be some sacrifice in a relationship too, but I don't know what to do. I love my girlfriend, but now I'm questioning if I really do love her, or if I just love the idea of her.

Any comments, suggestions, feedback is greatly appreciated and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.