how do you support a mentally struggling partner without losing yourself?

I (F26) and my bf (26) have been in a relationship for 4 years already. He’s one of the most gentle people I know—never ko siyang nakitang nagalit, super maalaga, dependable, you name it. He’s been one of my best support systems since college.

Now that we’re both working, napansin kong nagbago siya nung lumipat siya ng work. From being a chill and stoic person, he started showing signs of depression. When I noticed, inamin niya sa’kin na nagkakaroon siya ng urge to commit suicide. That moment felt like my world stopped.

I work as a psychometrician, and I talk to a lot of clients about their mental health. You really need to be mentally and emotionally prepared in this field para hindi ka lamunin ng bigat ng nararamdaman ng mga kliyente mo. So when my bf opened up, at first, honestly, I was in denial. As selfish as it may sound, ang unang pumasok sa isip ko was, “Hirap na nga ako sa work, bakit pati ikaw?” He was my escape and my comfort, especially when I was drained. So hearing that, ayokong tanggapin.

Pero, as a gf and a psychometrician, I guided him and encouraged him to seek therapy. Okay naman yung communication namin at first. Pero as time went by, naapektuhan na yung relationship namin. Minsan hindi na niya napo-provide yung emotional needs ko, and madalas nagshu-shut down siya kapag hindi kami okay.

Nahihirapan ako, honestly. Hindi ko alam hanggang kailan ko siya masu-supportahan. Sa work, sobrang ingat mo para hindi ma-trigger ang clients and when I’m with him, parang ganun na rin yung nararamdaman ko.

I love him so much, pero pakiramdam ko mauubos ako kung magtatagal pa ito. Paano ba? Iba pala talaga kapag yung mahal mo sa buhay ang mentally struggling.