My M22 bf made me 20F block my M20 friend and now im losing feelings

So, like the title says, ive been dating my boyfriend for only a month, weve been going out for like 3-4 months and for the past week weve been fighting about things like, a dude commenting on my tiktok and me liking his comment (he was not flirting with me thats why i didnt just take it down), and his insecurity about a friend of mine.

This friend, lets call him K, lives very far away from me. We “met” through mutual friends (ive never actually met him irl) but weve been online friends for like 3 years and at some point i considered him one if my best friends even though i hadnt met up with him because he lived in another town (for the record hes not a catfish or smth, weve talked on videocall, constantly sent pics and videos, and ive met up irl with friends of his). Now, K did like me romantically at some point im sure of it.

At the time i noticed him flirting but i didnt think much of it because im very insecure about my looks and i thought “yeah he probably likes me a little but i look better on camera so if we met up he would lose feelings and continue being my friend.) but ALSO because…i get it. I genuinely dont think a guy can become friends with a girl he considers pretty and not like her romantically. Thats just how males work, AND females, Ive also liked most of my old guy friends at some point. Point is, me and K havent been talking that much for a lot of months now, we just send reels, tiktoks and have some small convos from time to time.

The thing is, i still consider him a good friend, we have bonded over stuff, fought countless times about politics (we have seemingly oppossing views) but at the end of the day we actually agreed on most things, he just had a different view and mindset about things. Ive been going through stuff since like forever, and he helped me, we had some deep convos etc etc you get the picture. For someone like me who has very very few friends and those friends dont really treat me the best, i considered K to be a good friend (maybe even the only friend who has never wronged me) and i wanted us to eventually meet and be irl friends.

My boyfriend was bothered by this. Since before we were even dating ive talked to him about K and just told him he lives there, we dont really talk that much now, but hes a good friend nonetheless, and yeah bf did show that he didnt reslly like this. He was kinda jealous and insisted that me and K liked esch other and wanted to be together but long distance was the problem so now hes like the one that got away or sometjing like that. But lately hes been more vocal about how much it bothers him and yesterday he wanted to talk to me about “our relationship problems”. Apart from other issues he had (all jealousy issues), the one that stood out to him was K. We fought real hard, he almost dropped me home when we had literally JUST gone out but he didnt.

We fought and fought and fought and he kept telling me that he wants to see our messages and i didnt want to. I think its toxic and it has always been something i never wanted to have in my relationship, nonetheless i showed him our last messages, nothing that showed me cheating or anything that showed me or him liking each other, but then he wanted to see our messages from August 2024 (literally more than a year before i met him) and he saw some things that he took as K liking me. Then he got mad and started saying he was right all along, hes not stupid, hes seen this many times with other girls, asking me why and how i can be friends with someone who “CLEARLY” liked me so much, why im still talking to K if i have a bf, etc etc.

Then he started asking like, “would you block him if i told you to?” “i wont tell you to block him, block him if you think its the right thing to do” and generally guilt tripping me and basically saying that if i dont block him were over. So i blocked him. I reslly really didnt want to. I regretted it the moment i did it and then when my bf was happy i tried to act happy too but deep down i was already losing feelings. Now i feel disgusted and im honestly grieving my friendship and what it couldve been (a genuine long lasting friendship with one of the only people in my life who hasnt fucked me over).

And now im just confused and mad at myself. I shouldve kept my friend and let my bf drive me home if he really couldnt handle me having one male friend who lives so far away and who i dont even talk to that much. Thing is, i like my bf, but im not in love with him. Hes really jealous and controlling and if im being honest im mostly with him because i cant handle being lonely, because hes my first bf and first body. Yes i like him But i dont think i can get over this.

I miss my friend and it hurts knowing we probably wont ever speak again (i texted him the reason im blocking him and he just answered a dry two word answer so hes obviously hurt too) and ALL THAT just for me to wake up and feel disgusted about my bf and losing feelings. Advice ?

TL;DR my bf asked my to block a make friend of mine whom ive had for years because hes convinced that me and my friend like each other but arent together only because of long distance.