Has boyfriend crossed a line blaming me for his health?

Hi everyone, I (32F) had a big argument with my boyfriend (33M) (together 1.5 years) and I can’t tell if I’m being unreasonable or if this has crossed a line.

My boyfriend has a private Instagram and recently started posting on TikTok. Since then he’s been getting follow requests from random girls who don’t know him (they’ve seen his TikTok and then found his Instagram). He doesn’t follow them back, but he has accepted some requests.

I told him I wasn’t comfortable with him accepting random girls he doesn’t know, especially when it’s private. He apologised at first, but then would justifying it (my first thought was for TikTok growth, I accepted men and women that requested me. plus “I didn’t message them”, etc.) which made me feel like the apology didn’t mean much. He did say he wouldn’t do it again. But I also felt like I shouldn’t have to ask him to remove them, I just expected him to consider how it would make me feel, and he thought of himself first.

This escalated because I’ve been feeling insecure lately. He gets a lot of attention everywhere we go and people constantly comment on how attractive he is, and now he’s quickly doing well on TikTok while I’ve put loads of effort into building mine and got zero. It’s made me feel like I’m always in his shadow and not validated enough.

Then the argument became about effort in our relationship too, he rarely plans dates or treats me, even though he’s recently had a bonus/new job, so I’ve been feeling unappreciated and like I’m always the one pushing for things and driving our relationship.

During the argument I said I felt like I was confident before this relationship and that I don’t feel good enough anymore. He responded by saying he didn’t have this stress/illness before he met me and implied I’m partly responsible for it (he has ongoing fatigue/brain fog type symptoms). For context, I have spent hours and days of my life trying to help him calling up GPs, researching what it could be, pushing him to talk about it, pushing him to speak to his boss etc. the energy isn’t reciprocated into my things and life. That comment completely broke me and I ended up crying/screaming and feeling like I was having a panic attack. Our arguments are escalating recently.

We slept in separate rooms and I honestly don’t know if I can see him the same way. I know I didn’t handle it perfectly either and I regret how emotional I got, but I feel like blaming me for his illness/stress crosses a major line.

I don’t know where to go from here - how do you come back from this?

TL;DR - Boyfriend blamed me for his health issues. I escalated emotionally.