I am going to see a psychiatrist in the up coming days but I don't know what I could have

I'm 23 year old man (turning 24 in a week lol) and for the longest time I just feel weird.

in early 2021 my father passed away from cancer I was there with him alone when he took his last breath (I am the youngest in the family) so after a few days of that I started working to start helping out in the house and for my university I was miserable all the time.

growing up I was the quiet kid I had some friends but I was always quiet and shy which stayed with me growing up and affected my social skills which were extremely bad (now they are a little better because I push myself). I have lost many opportunities due to my bad social skills even now while I am a little better I sometimes just feel like I am that little kid again and lose all my confidence and become awkward.

after many different jobs I was also trying to get into social media marketing at the time because I saw a lot of things about it, mid 2024 I decided to take some control of my life so I quit and started doing something I was passionate about which is Content creation. First 3 months were horrible no income at all but then I scored my first client and started making bread crumbs of an income lol. Thought out 2025 I pushed myself to work I had the same symptoms which is low energy levels, bad social skills, getting irritated by stupid things and the worst feeling of all the emptiness after doing something that progresses my career (closing a deal or buying new equipment)

Family situation isn't the best right now (bills, rent, food) all of these things we are struggling with and I always believed and I still believe it's temporary because I will get me and my family out of this situation, but the constant complaining of my siblings and my mother is really not making me feel any better I hate sitting with them every time I sit with them they mention something which is normal like are you gonna continue university (I am taking a year and half break from it because it's so expensive) or omg we have this bill or omg we need to pay rent it's just constant complaining which isn't really the part I am mad about I am mad at myself for letting it affect me this much I see my siblings hearing the same things but they continue living life like normal so why am I feeling like this.

I am a good looking man I get compliments on my looks a lot and I also have many achievements career wise and I can guarantee anyone normal in my position would have so much confidence and high self esteem which I don't really have so why am I not .

I like to thing I am a very positive person and I believe one day everything will be better and I will be able to make life easier for myself and for my family but I feel like there is something eating me alive and I don't even know what it is,I have tried multiple self improvement things: I quit smoking, joined the gym, started meditating, took cold showers and it helps in the first few weeks but goes back to normal after a while. that's why I am going to see a psychiatrist soon but just thought someone is going through something similar to tell me what to expect at least because I have never been to a psychiatrist or a therapist before.

sorry if there are any grammatical errors or misspelled words I wrote this very fast and English isn't my first language.