I’m just confused and I might have created an issue

I’m 31. Married with 2 kids. I’ve been with my wife since we were 18. She’s very gorgeous and often gets compliments from women. I have always been very vocal about her beauty and body. I would get hard just by being close to her. I’ve always had somewhat of an insecurity about my penis size (which I’ve now realized is better than average) but I never really tackled those feelings and thoughts. It led me to watching alot of negative porn habits and building fetishes that I have to hide.

During our engagement period she started to be unsatisfied with our length of sex so I was prescribed 20mg of sidenafil from my doc about 5 years ago. I used it and was impressed in how hard I would get plus my ability to have sex back to back. I was young and now that I look back I definitely abused it for a few years. I would take it on special date nights or vacations. Around a year ago my doctor changed and she said that I was too young for it and down graded me to 10mg. I used it cautiously but I noticed the effect was different. Soon I would really lose my erection and even be softer than usual, visually and emotionally. It would really kill the mood for my wife but it happened seldomly. Now I’ve stopped using sidenafil and I find my erections weaker and I lose it pretty quick when I start to have sex. But 60% of the time, I’m horny and hard as a rock.

I know I need to make lifestyle changes so I’ve been working out for 5/7 days a week for 3 weeks now. My diet has been fare but could use more work. I find myself hornier and harder on leg days or on days that I work out. I have a really bad porn issue and I often watch a lot of bi sexual, hot wife porn that I know is bad for me. I’ve tried to stop but I can never last more than a few days and I’ve finally realized that it’s an addiction that is hurting me mentally. It hurts because communicated it to my wife while having these issues will only hurt our relationship and her perception of me. I’m really trying to release a lot of mental insecurities that come with watching that type of porn and having a woman that loves me and isn’t interested in that stuff. Any advice will help because I’m currently uninsured because I could only afford to cover to cover ny family. I have a daily prescription from goodrx or Calais 5mg but I stopped taking it after I created a gym regimen and started seeing results but I think I should do it in tandem until I see overall improvement. Any advice helps. I’m currently 6’4 240, attempting to get to 200.