Married people… Is your spouse a 🚩 bcz someone said so?

A humble reminder, or urge you may say, especially for married people, to stop taking relationship advice from social media and from just anyone.

Came across a post a while ago, it was about who one should consult in sensitive matters especially marital.

The one you’re seeking advice from, Is it someone who listens to your issue/ rant, and immediately says, “Oh, this happened? Your spouse is a red flag, not a good person, divorce him/her’’.

Or someone who actually takes a deeper look at the matter, helps you see things from different perspectives, makes you understand the other person’s side, and possibly acts as a mediator to help resolve the issue?

It also mentioned the story of Sulah-Hudaibiya.

The Prophet told his companions, “Get up and slaughter your sacrifices and shave your heads.” But none of them got up. He repeated the it three times, yet no one acted upon it!

Prophet went to Umm Salama (his wife) and shared this.

She said, “O Messenger of Allah, if you want your order to be carried out, go out without saying a word to anyone. Slaughter your sacrifice and call the barber to shave your head.”

The Prophet did that. When the companions saw him do so, they immediately got up and followed his example.

- (Sahih Bukhari)

Now, when the Prophet consulted Umm Salama, she could have said, “They are being disobedient and ungrateful.” She could have escalated the situation.

But instead, she understood the state of mind of the companions, considered what they were feeling at that moment, and suggested a solution that resolved the situation peacefully, without blame, without conflict.

—> A clear difference between wise counsel and a reckless advice.

There are situations or conflicts where seeking advice is necessary, but what matters is:

Who are you consulting? Do they understand such things? Do they have the knowledge, and sanity to assess the situation properly and guide you towards a positive solution?

فارغ بیٹھا تھا تو سوچا تھوڑا سا گیان جھاڑ دوں