NEED HELP OF YOU GUY'S HOPE SO I GET A SOLUTION

AS I ALRDY POSTED MANY TIMES BUT DIDN'T GETTING WHAT I WANT SO HERE IS AGAIN I AM WRITING KINDLY READ AND GIVE YOUR OPINIONS

AS I'M 26 STRAIGHT GUY NO ATTRACTIONS TOWARDS MEN BUT ACCIDENTALLY I WATCHED GAY PORN NOW I WANT TO FUCK A GUY'S ASS WANT SOMEONE TO SUCK MY DICK AND PUT MY BALLS IN HIS MOUTH

BUT AFTER MASTURBATION I GET SHOCKED AND HATE IT AND DECIDE TO NOT TO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT AND THANKULLINH MYSELF THAT I MASTURBATED ITS FEEL LIKE I AM SAFE NOW BUT THE FANTASY AGAIN CAME BACK AND DISTURBING ME SO I WANT TO FIND A STRAIGHT GUY WHO JST WANT TO GET HIS ASS FUCKED OR BEING BOTTOM FANTASY BUT WANT IT VERY DISCREET LIKE I DONT WANT TO SHOW MY FACE EVEN I WANT HE CAN DO EVERYTHING BUT WITH HIDDEN FACES AND TAKE THINGS SLOW BUT MAKE IT HAPPEN FOR ONCE SO WE BOTH CAN BREAK THE LOOP OF THOUGHTS AND GET RID OF THESE THOUGHTS

SHOULD I TRY TO FIND AND TRY IT ONCE OR MAKE MYSELF STRONG SO I CAN DROP THIS THOUGHT

BUT MY WHEN I TRY TO DO MY BRAIN SAY MAKE MISTAKE ONLY ONE TIME AND GET FREE