Losing my mind

On Friday night I sent a nude picture to my boyfriend over Snapchat. (I know, I know) but we’ve been together years and I trust him. I don’t normally do it, but I’d had a few drinks. Anyway, I managed to post the fucking thing on my story. I think it was on for around 3 minutes. My boyfriends friend saw it which was mortifying enough but the most mortifying thing was my sons friends older brother. He’s 14. I only have him on snap because my son regularly goes to the park around the corner with him and his friend so I have him on there just to keep in touch with my son when they are out.

I actually haven’t slept that much since it happened and can’t eat. I actually threw up.

I have severe anxiety and ocd. Always have, and now I am spiralling wondering what if I sent it personally to my son’s friend brother. I have no reason to presume this yet my mind is telling me “what if”

On the chat page it says 3 weeks since I last interacted with him and that was when my son phoned me over his Snapchat. I am a complete mess and keep waiting for his mum to message me. I heard police sirens before and was certain they were coming for me.

I am not coping at all. What the fuck do I do. I know I seem like a complete weirdo right now but this is genuinely going through my head.

Please don’t judge me. I am going through a really hard time. I have had therapy in the past for intrusive thoughts and I’m just hoping this is another theme. This is how shit my life is and I can’t believe I’ve been so fucking stupid as to put myself in a situation like this.

Just to clarify, I would NEVER send a nude to anybody else, let alone a minor!!!!! But my mind is telling me I could have and it’s terrifying me and I’m not sure what to do