[2252] The Antagonist’s Timeline: Chapter 1 Pt 1

Hi everyone!

This is my first time submitting my work to this subreddit so I hope I’m doing it correctly. Please let me know if not.

I’d prefer critique on pacing, structure, voice, etc. Would these first pages make you want to read more?

This is an adult science fiction book with themes of control and moral ambiguity.

I don’t mind shorter critiques as long as they’re high impact!

The link to my critique: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/s/xJiIgMMVAN

The link to my work: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1174j3RMwbllO3rtJGPjzVQRmx857sobC7UlMGXnI2gw/edit?usp=sharing

Happy reading!