[1100] Why Am I Like This?

Hey there! I have just recently got onto Reddit (no need to go easy on me) and entertained the idea of writing a creative nonfiction piece centered around psychology. I do not want to give too much context because I would like to conduct a single-blind experiment--if you will--and let you guys tell me how this preface/introduction reads without introducing my biased assumptions. I appreciate all feedback, especially if you think I should get a new hobby.

Here it is:
Introduction

Before we get into the weeds, I just want to let you know that if you found this book because you were looking for a mindless read to lull yourself to sleep, I’m going to have to stop you right there. Seriously, if that’s your plan, follow these steps carefully:

1. Put this book down—better yet, hand it to someone who actually wants it.
2. Make your way to your local bookstore.
3. Navigate straight to the fantasy, fiction, or “this will never help me in real life” section.
4. Close your eyes.
5. Count to ten.
6. Out loud.
7. By threes.
8. Take a deep breath—I’ll wait.

Congratulations! You’ve just embarrassed yourself in public. Now, go ahead and try to recover from the trauma you’ve endured, see if your friend is generous enough to return the book—and maybe consider actually reading this one.

Now that we got that out of the way, we can get more into the details of this masterpiece.

Character Introduction

Once again, this is nonfiction, which means we don’t do things the usual way around here. That being said, I am going to attempt the impossible—a feat even your English teacher could never accomplish. For my next trick, I will tell you who the characters are, why they exist, and more importantly how they think…and for those of you saying stuff like

“No, don’t spoil it!”

“Who gave this guy a book deal?”

“I want to figure it out on my own!”

“I wanted to read it for the character development!

“Life was so much easier when I was clueless while reading!”

Skip button located at the bottom right. Wondering the same. Liar. Times two. And yeah, right.

Respectively, of course.

There is a method behind the method to my madness—very meta, I know—and I’ll simplify it by referencing a well-researched technique called SQ3R. It stands for:

Survey/Skim – Look at bolded and important text, get a feel for what you’re about to read by familiarizing yourself with learning targets and summaries.

Question – Turn lessons into questions that spark thought and guide comprehension.

Read – The part we all know and love.

Recite – Summarize the material in your own words and explain how it all connects.

Review – Revisit the content to reinforce understanding or maybe come back to experience nostalgia. And I guess you could gain a new perspective.

You’ve been skipping out on most of the process your whole life. Simon says: “Give yourself a pat on the back.”

Now, because I know you’re all a bunch of lazy, braindead government puppets, I took the liberty of doing that first one for you. I hope the rest comes naturally. And if not…well, I may or may not lend a hand with the second one too.

Enough explaining myself—let’s get to the point.

Character 1 – Deep-thinker, considerate, holds a conversation well, prefers isolation, can be outgoing at times (very rarely), and struggles with relationships.

Character 2 – Very extraverted, frequently loses track of time in conversation, does not get persuaded easily, and doesn’t enjoy work much.

Character 3 -

Character 4 -

Character 5 -

Instead of doing what I know all of you are subconsciously doing right now—picking the one character that resonates with you the most—restrain yourself. Just like diversifying your stock portfolio benefits you in the long run, being open to a diverse set of personalities will pay off too. As much as you like to think of yourself as “more like this” or “more like that,” we all portray a whole spectrum of traits. It’s the ones that shout the loudest that get noticed first. That’s how most of us end up living the same day over and over again. Our reality is what we make of it, and if you can accept that your astrology sign—or your most recent fortune cookie—might be a little off, you’ll probably gain more than you expect.

So, what should you do instead? Look for what will benefit you the most. If a contrasting character is going through a situation similar to one you’ve experienced—or one you hope to encounter—try learning from their perspective. There’s no point in tracking the character that mirrors you exactly; you’ll likely gain nothing new from them. And if you haven’t learned your own corresponding lesson yet…well, let’s hope the 13th time’s the charm.

Before we officially get started, let’s get this out of the way: this is a nonfiction book. The ideas, insights, and themes you’ll find inside are real—or at least as real as they need to be for you to walk away with something useful. The stories? Well… they may or may not have happened exactly as told. In fact, if you catch yourself thinking, “There’s no way that happened,” congratulations: your bullshit detector is working perfectly.

Here’s the deal: the stories might bend, twist, or occasionally somersault over reality. Sometimes I lie a little to get the point across. But don’t panic—the truths hidden inside those tales are still true. Consider it creative amplification. Or, if you prefer, “truth with a little flair.” I would like to warn you first, so I feel less guilty about it. If you disagree with that… well, that’s on you, not me.

Read this book with curiosity, a pinch of skepticism, and perhaps a sense of humor. The lessons are real. The stories are just… lively. And if you leave thinking, “Huh, maybe that could happen,” then congratulations again—you’re exactly where I want you to be. And if you don’t get what I’m saying, maybe read it again—I didn’t stay up all those nights for nothing.