Life of desperation.

My life is over. From the many years ago, from my deepest heart, I knew it but, I had never admitted it until I had to. Until I gave up the toxic positivity.

The life of desperation tought me that I have no hope in my life. I was built differently. Having normal life was too much to ask. I couldn't have anything but, I only wanted the little peace you know. At least, I wanted to feel I'm safe for now.

I'm no action hero who could rise up and defeat the hardships in life and there's cool ending credit song at the end.

I had hope and I tried but, it didn't matter how much I was so passionated and tried because the world simply didn't let me. It's like me live well is against the nature of this planet that has to be correct.

I don't want to suffer and I don't things get worse day by day and year by year. If I lose this job, I might you know. There's no way to survive because people won't hire a person like me anymore. No career whatsoever

I mean I go to work but, I can't call it as career you know. Because it's meaningless but, it was the only job I could have. It was really hard to get it. I was lucky but, I'm susually unluckest man in the world. I know how the things go with me.

I was born average and I became below average because it's hard to afford to be standard and normal you know and now, the little peace I have is about to go soon. I don't know what to do.