AITAH for prioritizing work?

So my wife told me weeks ago that she’s going to a Gala evening with her sisters tomorrow. She reminded me last week and again tonight.

I hadn’t really been bothered to ask questions about time location etc I just assumed she would never plan something that would overly inconvenience me. But tonight we properly discussed it… she said she has to leave at 5 to get there for when it starts at 6. I told her that’s completely unreasonable - I have work calls till 5.45, I can’t be expected to watch both of our kids (6m & almost 3yo).

I usually collect our toddler from daycare but she said she could do that before she leaves (although this does mean our toddler is going to lose it when she leaves for the Gala).

I told her over and again how busy and important my work is at this time of year. She did not relent and said she has to leave at 5.

So after throwing several barbs about how unacceptable this is (she just kept saying she has to juggle childcare and work all the time) I said she can go so long as she sets the baby up with toys etc in my office and sets the toddler up with a movie and snacks.

So who is the asshole? Me or her?