should i stay or should i go

before when my husband and i were boyfriend and girlfriend i found nudes and sex videos of his ex girlfriend. its destroyed my self esteem and made our first year of our marriage difficult. he said he purposely did not keep them i believe him to be good natured and kind. i have felt insecure before, but i look on her socials often and she is much more attractive than i. the same first year we were married i found another sex tape in a lock box type app: it had not been downloaded onto his new device ( meaning when he was with me and did not access it) i broke down and wanted a divorce after talking about it a while, i decided to forgive him. it may sound silly, but his family would constantly praise how pretty she was when he would post her. when i asked him about if he had sex with her without protection he said almost never, he later admitted he lied. in our first year of marriage i asked if he had used intimate items on her and he smirked and said yes, that smirk still haunts me and makes me burst into tears. he has not spoken to her since we started dating. he apologized profusely. i asked if she worked out he said no she did not, in the pictures shes a literally like super hot. i know this is a self esteem issue too on my part. i honestly cant handle how much happier he looked while with her. granted we were younger and still in high school, and now he is in the military and gets no good sleep. i'm constantly feeling not good enough and just awful. its been 2 1/2 years-ish since the incident and tonight i found pictures of them happy together in him and his sisters chat. and i am heartbroken completely. how can i continue to love and kind of forgive the feeling that this gives me. how can i move forward what should i say in prayer to fix my heartbreak within my marriage. i know he had no intention of hurting my feelings but lack of due diligence i guess could factor in. i know i have a past he can deal with, but i feel different that i was able to witness their sexual acts. i feel and thought i forgave him. but i don't think i've loved him the same since, and i love him so much and so dearly, but i haven't looked at him the same since or i think loved him the same since, ive wondered if he deserves a partner that will be able to love him at full capacity and with a clean slate.. i truly wants what is best for him, with that being said i should be thinking of myself also and im not sure if i'm able to live fully happily with this feeling in my heart. i feel we both deserve full love, can therapy fix this, i know Jesus could fix this in my heart i know, but i have to do the work and of course on his part also, but work can be done? when were together it doesnt hurt as bad or sometimes at all honestly. i love him so much and i dont want to leave, but i dont know about my sake and part of his too.