I have no friends.

Hi all.

I (23F) moved to Melbourne with my friends and had the absolute best time. I absolutely loved the city and loved the people, friends and experiences I made along the way. Unfortunately, I had a huge falling out with my friend and we ended our 8 year friendship. I moved out of the house that I loved and the area I also loved too. There was no way we could become friends again.

We had a mutual friend, we’ll call them Alex. Alex and I were best friends. Did everything together, I could talk to them about everything. However, once me and my old friend (Jane “fake nam” for context) stopped being friends, alex remained friends with them. It became too hard as I heard from other friends that they spoke badly about my body, my actions and my personality together and laughed about me. Alex claimed this never happened but knowing the kind of people they were, it did.

Since then, I found the love of my life. He’s turned my life around. I stopped doing drugs, I started saving to buy a home, I exceeded in my career and I bettered my mental health. However, i have no friends. I have some small people I talk to and people back in QLD (Australia) I still talk to, but I have no one outside of my boyfriend and his family here.

I want to find people I can connect with, but being someone who can’t just talk to anyone (or tries to, and doesn’t workout), i find it extremely hard to make friends. I have amazing work colleagues, whom I go out with but don’t speak with enough to create any more of a friendship. I can’t talk to any of my old friends as my partner feels uncomfortable with them, which I understand.

I’m just venting as I feel as if I’ve tried my best. I’ve gone to workout sessions and tried, soaking with my local barista, talking to women at bars etc etc. but I find it doesn’t go anywhere.

I know there’s my people out there and as much as I love and miss my old friends, I don’t need people who hurt me day and day again in my life. But, I don’t want boyfriend to be my old person. It’s embarrassing and I can feel the pressure on him as I see him every weekend.

Thank you for taking the time to read.