I wrote this little story last night and it kinda messed with me, so yeah, I’m just gonna drop it here. If it hits you, cool. If it’s cringe, my bad. I’m trying.

So imagine this.

I’m sitting on my bed with my phone in my hand, same spot I always sit. Same thumb doing the same scroll like it’s my job. My room quiet but my head loud. And I’m not even watching anything I like. It’s just… stuff. Faces. Food. Cars. People winning at life. People looking perfect. People acting happy like they got a personal deal with God.

And I’m scrolling like yeah, good for them. But my chest start feeling tight, like somebody put a belt around my ribs. Not pain pain, just that ugly pressure. Like you behind. Like you late. Like you missed the whole train.

Then my phone dies. Straight up 1 percent to black screen. No warning. Just dead.

And bro, the silence after that was crazy. Like my brain didn’t know what to do with itself. I just sat there staring at my own reflection in the dark screen like I was about to get a message from myself.

I get up, I plug it in, and while it’s charging I’m just walking around my room like a lost NPC. I look at my clothes on the chair, my water bottle on the floor, my dumb little pile of receipts on the table. Regular life. Nothing fancy. Nothing Instagram-worthy. Just me.

And I realize something that made me feel kinda stupid.

When I’m online, I’m never actually with anybody. I’m just watching. I’m like a dude standing outside a party with his face pressed on the window, telling himself he’s basically there.

I sit back down, phone still charging, and I start thinking about people I know for real. Like real real. Not usernames.

My cousin who always says we should hang out, and I always say yeah bro for sure, and then I disappear. My old friend who texted me a month ago and I left him on read because I didn’t have the energy. My mom calling and I let it ring because I was tired and lazy and I told myself I’ll call back later. Later never came.

And the weird part is I’m not lonely like I got no people. I got people. I just been acting like I don’t.

So I do this thing that felt corny but I didn’t care. I grabbed a notebook, like an actual notebook, and I wrote down three names. Just three. People that don’t make me feel like I gotta perform. People I can be normal with.

Then I wrote what I would say if I wasn’t trying to look cool.

Hey bro, you free this weekend
Yo I been kinda off lately but I’m here
You wanna just talk for a bit, no big thing

I stared at it for a minute like wow, that’s it. That’s the whole secret. You don’t gotta be smooth. You just gotta be real.

Phone turns back on. Notifications pop up. Same apps screaming for my attention like ay come back, you missing everything.

And I’m not gonna lie, I did go back. I’m not a monk. I’m still me.

But I put the phone down again. And I texted one of those names. My hands felt dumb doing it, like I was breaking a rule.

He replied fast. Like he was waiting.

All he said was bro same. I been feeling weird too.

And I swear, that one message felt more real than two hours of scrolling.

So yeah. That’s my little story. If you read this far, you a real one.

Tell me if you ever feel like this too. Like you not alone but you still feel alone. Like you online all day but you ain’t really with nobody.