I can’t do it

My mom and my whole family expects me to do very well on the LSAT as I am the “smart” girl in the family. I don’t think I will due to me abusing alcohol heavily since my cat died last summer and I feel like it has eaten holes in my brain. I have been trying my best to study, I just am not preforming as well as I should, and I think I will end my life if I cannot perform. I think I will end it if I don’f succeed. Please give me love and support I don’t want to die.