I think I messed up badly this time

My boyfriend is the love of my life, my fp, and I ADORE him. This is the first time I’ve ever felt truly loved back AND his family adores me and treats me like one of their own, they spoil me and all text me and do so many things for me, I believe God put me on this earth to be with him. I am not exaggerating that he is THE PERSON for me.

However, I started my first ever full time job this month and my mood swings have been astronomically horrible. It’s gotten to the point where I’m going through meds/therapy/exercise/electroshock therapy and NOTHING.

Last night was the last straw for my boyfriend, and I don’t want to go into even more detail because I know he has a reddit but because I didn’t want to bother him with my medical problems he found out from his sibling who I talk to and am also close to, and he lost it. [for context he has been stressed due to moving/finding new job, and we’re LDR now]

He got so upset with me that he asked for a break, which he has never done before, and I’m catatonic. I cried so hard I went to bed at 6PM and my eyes are sunken in and everyone at work can tell. But I don’t know what to do if he breaks things off. I’m already a mess with my mood swings and I wish I could just calm the hell down and give him what he needs. I don’t know what to do. It seems like no matter what I do I just made him angrier and angrier and I kept making mistakes like constantly telling him I missed him and crying to him and….and he snapped and now we’re on a break.

I prayed more strongly than I ever prayed before and I just. I just need help.