A letter to T

I don’t even know if this will reach the right person, but anyway, just wanted to get this off my chest :)

Dear T,

Hi…It’s been years since I saw you. You’ve been on my mind lately well in my dreams most of the time (wholesome). Ever since my birthday last 2022 and the Baguio trip, It’s been playing on my mind lately. I don’t know if you knew it already, but I liked you since I was in 4th grade… well technically since the time my brother introduced you. They didn’t know that they’re teasing me to the wrong friend all along. Anyways, I’m writing this because I don’t know I just feel like I wanted to get this off my chest and I guess this was I think a great way to say, thank you? for tagging along my family’s idea to give the flowers to me and sorry if I was awkward whenever you’re near me. You have no idea how much joy and butterflies I felt that time. It always took me back to the time where I first admired you from afar. You were one of the people who made my 18th less depressing than it already was and more memorable.

Baguio (a year later) was a different feeling. The trip was a sponty trip and I was looking forward to it knowing you’ll be there. We were at a bar and among all the space you could sit, you sat beside me and boy, I couldn’t look at you or even at your direction while you’re talking. It’s silly don’t you think? Because after all those years and we don’t even see each other often since my brother has his own place and rarely hang out at our house, I still have that same feeling that I thought I could outgrow, but well I can’t (but I will eventually).

Well, thank you because you made me happy even though it’s indirectly, you made me happy in ways you cannot imagine. 2021-22 (so far) was one of the toughest year and I think whenever I was going through that same situation again my brain just keeps playing that same memory. And it feels safe and happy. It’s like my mind knows that you kept me going. You know that feeling when you like someone, there’s something you try and look forward to? That’s one of the things that kept me forward.

So, I really have no idea where you are now, but I hope you’re doing fine and happy. I hope you’re with someone that makes you feel happy and safe just like what I felt towards you. And I hope life is treating you the way you want it to be. Well, It is an honor to be able to know and liked you.

Thank you!

-M