recovery weight gain is messing with my head

I lost rapid amounts of weight in the last few months and it’s caused like 70% of my hair to fall out. I’ve realised I’d rather recover and try promote my body to regrow what I’ve lost. I’ve been in recovery for 2 months ish and today was my first time going to the doctors since my last weigh in which was in November and when I saw the increased number it made my heart race. While I know recovery is what I want and need for my health i feel like such a failure because it took so much effort to lose it in the first place. Anyone else experience this? If so how do you get through it