I am lost.

Okay so this has no topic , idk. I (20m) have been stuck since soo long in my life idk what to do anymore. I got bad grades in 12 , got a bad percentile in JEE and CET , got a fucking tier 3 college , became friends with shit people who made me try alcohol and cigarettes , developed a drinking and smoking problem , got into huge debt , sold my laptop gifted to me by my parents to clear the debt , got into debt again , fucked my grades in college , year down in first year , still couldn't clear backs , no physical health, no mental health , tried to get a job , multiple jobs and got scammed, didn't receive salary , my monthly allowance goes all into repaying the debt , I get harrassed by calls everyday because I probably missed a due etc.

Amidst all this , I got a girlfriend in first year , went really well , loved her a lot. Found out she was talking to her ex behind my back , i confronted her she apologized and I asked her to cut him off , found out she didn't , got into a huge fight , talked to another girl behind her back just to get so called revenge , she found out about it , I told her it was my revenge, she forgave and we continued for few months , then she broke up with me again saying that I gave her lifetime trauma and everything. She left me in the middle while I was struggling with every aspect in my life. Told me she couldn't be with someone who apparently has no future left and is only going downhill and tbh , can't blame her , she was just as confused as me in this shit world. She was a pure soul , she still is a pure soul and I hope she's happy wherever she is and I wish I could tell her how sorry I am for everything and how badly I wish to turn everything back to how it was , but my life is in shambles rn , even if she gets back , I have no identity , nothing. I am a nobody , idk what to do anymore. I get suicidal thoughts every day , I can't focus on anything , I have nothing and i still have huge debt that I have to cover , get my backs cleared , and i have no strength left. She was my strength , she left saying I don't match her standards , i can't even afford my living how can I afford hers , and this hurt a lot but it wasn't false too. Idk what to do with my life anymore.

( tried posting on r/twentiesindia but wasn't eligible due to low karma )