I think my best friend might be obsessed with me or at least very jealous. Am I overthinking this?

Hi everyone,

I’m posting here because I genuinely don’t know anymore whether I’m overreacting or if this friendship has become unhealthy.

I (21F) have been friends with this girl(22F) since childhood. She calls me her best friend, but she kind of decided that herself she never asked, she just started saying it, and I went along with it.

Over time (and especially recently), I’ve noticed a pattern of behavior that makes me uncomfortable.

She often seems jealous when I get attention, especially from men. If a guy shows interest in me, she usually tries to discourage me from seeing him. A few months ago, I was getting ready for a date while we were on the phone, and she told me I probably looked bad. That really stuck with me.

She also makes frequent comments about my body and appearance. For example, she’s told me I shouldn’t eat fast food because I “need a summer body.” She compares herself to me a lot and frames things like:

“I go to the gym, you don’t.”

“I have this, you don’t.”

She calls me lazy, compares me to other people, and asks why they achieved certain things and I didn’t.

She’s also very judgmental toward other women. If another woman is prettier than her, she immediately puts her down or claims she must have had plastic surgery.

Another thing that really unsettles me is how she talks about my family as if it were her own. She gives unsolicited opinions and speaks like she knows them deeply. This is especially uncomfortable because I grew up in a very toxic family environment, while she didn’t. It sometimes feels like she’s weirdly fixated on my life in general.

She’s also oddly focused on my body and size. For example, when I bought a top in size M, she immediately said, “That’s not your size last time you bought a different one.” It felt intrusive and unnecessary.

There was also a situation that really changed how I see her. A mutual friend once told us (while crying) that she had experienced sexual violence by a guy from our former school. While she was talking, my best friend kept interrupting her and trying to change the subject. Later, she said she didn’t believe her because “she knows the guy and he would never do that” even though she barely knew him. This led to an argument between us, because I believed our friend.

Most of our conversations are also very one-sided. We can talk for hours about her life, but maybe 10 minutes about mine. I often don’t feel safe sharing good things that happen to me, especially if it involves male attention, because I’m afraid she’ll get jealous or put me down.

She also lies sometimes and includes me in her lies, saying “we did this” when we absolutely didn’t. That makes me really uncomfortable.

To be fair, we’ve had good moments, which is why this is so confusing. But lately I keep asking myself:

Am I imagining this?

Am I being too sensitive?

Or is this actually a friendship built on insecurity, jealousy, and comparison?

I’d really appreciate outside perspectives.