I've created a fake life for the last 8 years

I (f21) have struggled with extreme depression since I was around 5 or 6. I've always hated everything about myself, to the point where I wish I was a different person. I already know a lot of the comments are going to be focused on me going to therapy, but I'll discuss my hesitations later on. While the struggles started a lot earlier, when I was about 13, I began creating this fake life. It started off with just what I wished I looked like. I would find random girls on Pinterest and photoshop them to look, what I perceived as, the most desirable. I think the thing that triggered it is when my dad took me to a clothing boutique for petite girls (skinny/short) while I'm the exact opposite of that (6' and about 250lbs) It then got much worse. I started writing my "fake life" self's attributes and personality. She was me, but better, funnier, smarter, and stronger. Once I had created the perfect "me," I started introducing new people into my story. I created my dream family and their personalities. My "new" family was supportive of my sexuality. I created a fake gf and her stories as well. I also started integrating real people that I wanted to be friends with in my story. It got to the point where I had hundreds of pages of life stories, outfits planned based on the clothes I have in this fake life, my college apartment and home designs, "fake" friends, and a photoshopped picture of the tattoos/piercings I would have in this fake life. I will sometimes still work on it now. It's gotten to the point where I'll be doing something in my real life and think about what "fake" me would be doing at the time. I haven't told anyone about this and I've began to feel guilty about it, especially since I have a real-life partner. This isn't me asking for advice or trying to figure out if i'm an asshole, I know I am, that's why I've done this for so long. I more just think that posting this will help me either feel too embarrassed to keep up my fake life, or feel relief from finally telling someone. I will say that It's never impacted my schooling or work and that I've never used it to harm anyone (catfishing and things of that nature). It has purely become a coping mechanism. I would also like to add that I have never used AI for anything. It has all been my own creations and imagination. Idk I never post on Reddit.