(rant) husband is depressed because i won't give him another baby

My husband (43m) has confessed that he is depressed because I (28f) won't give him another baby.

I've asked him if he's considered how difficult it is for me. To be pregnant. To sacrifice my body. To start throwing up and getting my organs stretched. And then giving birth.

He said he's considered it and it's temporary. He wants another baby no matter what. He did not sacrifice his body, he did not have his hair fall our postpartum, he did not work so damn hard to get this body and hair back and better than what it was pre-pregnancy.

Logically, I don't think a baby will cure his depression. There must be something - therapy... or something.

We have a 4-year-old boy with ADHD. I am taking all the mental load - getting him diagnosed, speaking to his therapist, scheduling therapy, finding the right schools for him, spending all weekend and nights with him. My husband wakes up with 4 at night and I don't mean to belittle his contributions, but that is it. And 4 wakes up once or twice at night - sometimes to potty, sometimes he's thirsty. How are we supposed to know if my husband's Imaginary Child won't have ADHD? On top of this, I work full time. Realizing all of this makes me so angry and impatient.

I don't want to give him a baby. I don't want to be Primary Parent again, for decades. It sounds selfish but what about me? What about my dreams? I want to travel more - England, Europe, everywhere. I want TWO MAs, I want to finish writing my freaking books.

I don't know if my husband is ready to be depressed forever. I also don't know how to tell him. Part of me wants to give him the baby, but it's not fair to the baby. It's not fair to 4. It's not fair to me. The only person who will be happy is my husband and idk why but I resent that so freaking much.