Tell me why

Why is it when I need you or feel loving toward you the distance you keep is suffocating?

When I call you I want to talk to you not just be the person on the other line that listens and answers questions.

I want to tell you about my day. Take pauses. Tell you that I miss you near me. I miss your hands and how the small of your back feels when I pull you close. The smell of your hair and the soft warmth of your kiss.

I want to tell you that and more but you don’t seem to care when I do and rarely do I get the chance in our “conversations” as you’re usually the one trying to rush through until you decide getting off the phone with me is what you want.

I miss you. I just want to tell you. You suck too but I still find myself loving your embrace and the way you feel in my arms.

Is that so rude?