AITAH for breaking off our friendship?

i don't really open up to people very easily. I'm still young and i've still got a lot to experience, i'm aware of that fact, but due to the environment i grew up in and due to how i was raised, i don't put my trust in a lot of people. when i do, (that too very rarely), it's cautious, still. I've been taught that people will only befriend you for their own benefit. Of course, it makes sense, a friendship should be useful and productive. But my mind's twisted it into things that make me not trust it at all.
My mental health also hasn't been so great as of late. A lot has been going on at home (i'm safe, though, it's just things that aren't very ideal at the moment), at school, I've got a big exam coming up, all that stuff. I've been stressed over many things. I have a friend (not the friend who's the topic of this discussion), and she and I have been friends for a very long time. We've gone through the highs and lows, and she's honestly the only person I actually am not scared to be vulnerable with. I also have a tendency to villainize the people around me and victimize myself. Not to the point where it gets problematic, but still something that could potentially harm a friendship. This point is important for later.

I have another friend. She and I hit it off beautifully when we first met, two years ago, at school. We're different from the rest of our classmates. I blend in okay, but I'm not really in anybody's circle, but the entire reason I'm not completely ostracized is because we all speak the same language. But my friend doesn't. Her and I talked one day and we instantly loved each other. It was awesome for a year and a half. It really was.
But now, there's conflict. And I feel my walls getting back up again. They were always up, I think, they're just raising even higher now. Recently, we had a fight. She was supposed to come to a concert with me and a few other friends. We also had plans to meet up the day before the concert, but I couldn't make it because I had no mode of transport. She asked if we could meet up after the concert, and I said that I was meeting my other friend (who I've known for longer time), and she got visibly upset. And then, after a while, she texted me saying that she'd made other plans and can't come to the concert, and I had to let everybody else know that she couldn't do it. I said I was busy. She told me to do with whenever I was free because she was busy too. I got mad, because she could've told them herself when she was less busy. When I showed that I got mad, she got mad too, and eventually ended up telling them herself.
After this, I realized that I couldn't do this anymore. I realized that I'd been growing resentment towards her because of my own villainize and victimize patterns. This isn't because of an isolated incident; instances in the past, like her not being able to understand my issues, her and I leading different lives, they frustrated me that I couldn't be honest with her. Previously, when I tried to talk about this issue, I was brushed off completely. It had been brewing for weeks and weeks, and I didn't want this to blow up in our faces. So I told her about my patterns, said that we should take a break. She also said that I 'made problems for myself' and that 'if there's a hole people walk around it but you build a bridge and fly over it'. (She was referring to the fact I got mad at her for telling me to tell everyone that she wasn't coming to the concert. Obviously I got mad, things were tense as fuck between us at that time) I felt like a bitch about it, though. But I needed a break. My view on that friendship became twisted and unhappy. And I just couldn't take it anymore. I thanked her for having the conversation with me. She said she felt 'used', i.e., I used her to come to that realization. But that wasn't true. I already recognised those patterns and voiced them to her. I tried to get that point across. I then declared that we should go on a break for me to sort out my mental health. It was... kind of a unilateral decision (which she later specified), and for which I apologized.
A few days pass, and I see a reel on instagram reposted by her. It said 'do you ever hate your friend's negative mindset like you wanna be so sad so bad'. And after the conflict we had just days ago, I assumed it was about me. And under the reel was her comment, 'loud repost, I hope you see this'. I thought it was meant for me, and I just commented 'damn' under her comment. She later replied 'the fact that you think this is about you proves a point I haven't made yet (with the tongue sticking out emoji). That obviously pissed me off, but I didn't think much of it. I let it go after being mad for a few hours.

We didn't talk for a couple weeks. But then after a few circumstances we talked again, where I found myself apologizing over and over, for springing the break on her, for not being clear, all that stuff.
I didn't get anything back. I.. feel like a bitch for expecting anything in the first place. But it felt like she was just being cold. And today, she texted me, and we randomly started talking about our lives, how hers was going, how mine was going, mostly hers, but that was because I didn't know how to talk about my issues without making her feeling uncomfortable, i suppose. And then I asked her about the thing with the reel repost. She said it was meant for somebody else. Then I asked her about the comment she made under my reply. She simply said 'i'm sorry i was in a bad mood'. And then she said, 'do you really think I'd badmouth you by reposting a reel on instagram, regardless of how ugly things get between us?'

This is what confuses me.

You can't be there for me emotionally. You don't communicate. You say I make problems for myself. I barely understand what's going on with us anymore. My other friend tells me to save my mental peace and let it go, and I agree. But lately, I haven't been feeling so good about myself. I feel like a piece of trash most of the time. My councelor told me I have issues with prioritizing myself and loving myself. I don't know how to better that. I can't talk about problems with my family with this friend. I don't know anything anymore. And then she acts as if... we're still tight.

In all honestly, I don't know if I want to be tight anymore. I don't think I can handle it. I just hope I'm not an asshole for feeling that way, because I can't do this anymore.

I just can't.