I feel like I don't have any soul left in me honestly

I'm 20 and I mostly live through a very sad, unsatysfying life. I just feel like a robot doing many different tasks for others. I feel like a slave to my parents. I never felt like I was loved by anyone, that's why I don't believe in love except in love of Jesus Christ, whom I commit a lot of my time by praying, reading his word and trying to talk to others about Him. I just wish I wasn't been a real person. But here I am. After my parents pass away I will have to take care of my disabled sister for the rest of my life, and then just pass away. There isn't anything special waiting for me. I show empathy and smile, but it probably doesn't mean anything. I have a lot of live to live through that I don't want to expirience. I do work out, take care of myself and always try my best, but it really just won't change anything. This world would have been much better without me. I just hope that God has a better future for me than he had for my family. Maybe I'm just meant to be cursed. It's just really difficult all the time