Advice/Help

Hi. Sharing my story in hopes someone has any advice on how they moved forward. Maybe I just need kind words.

I am 24 and have had two pregnancies both unsuccessful. Most recently I had a positive test in late October of 2025. My partner and I were very happy, I scheduled an appointment with the OBGYN for Dec 1st, taking my prenatals. Then it happened on thanksgiving, 4 days before my first appointment.

It has been 2 months since and I still find myself getting absolutely depressed and jealous when I see other women with babies. I have such a hard time thinking why me. Why did they get to keep theirs but not me. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I am active and relatively healthy. I know multiple women who have been on heavy drugs (meth/heroin) for a large portion of their life that were still able to have beautiful and healthy babies. It doesn’t seem fair. And besides that, after losing two, I have fear of even trying again. I don’t want to experience that pain again. To have so much love and happiness in my life expecting it for a lifetime, only having it for a short time. I never got to see my baby besides the tissue of their remains that I passed.

I have my regular periods back, and seeing the blood is a big trigger for me.

I guess what I need is to hear how did you gain your strength and confidence back? What gave you the strength to try again? For those of you who found out you were not able to have viable pregnancies, what did you do to cope with that knowledge? Did you try other methods, IVF, adoption?