AP still playing victim

kind of just a vent post i need to get it out..

my WP and i had been together 4.5 years when D day happened, with a recent (but very close) online long distance friend. when i found the chats WP immediately made the decision himself to cut contact and apologised and put the work in to repair our relationship. its now 1.5 years after Dday and we're in a much better place in our lives, though i still find myself struggling some days.

now on to the issue that re-sparked my anger this day.. AP, WP and i all have mutual friends (all in our mid 20s). after the affair came out, of course we had to disclose what happened to our mutual friends, and over time our mutual friends fell out with AP. this was probably not influenced by the affair, and just a normal falling-out that would happen when you realise the other person just doesn't share the same interests or have the same outlooks or even live in the same time zone as you. AP has also said and done some things that have made some of our mutual friends uncomfortable (extremely co-dependent, self deprecating, and self centred) which has caused one or 2 of our mutual friends to cut contact.

AP has taken this falling out very personally and as an attack on who he is as a person. AP has lived a very hard life and i can understand why he is the way he is but the audacity is sometimes astounding. after WP and I cut contact, AP spent a year sad posting online about either how much he misses us both and how much of a bad person he is, or about how unfair it is that we cut contact and how absurd it is that i chose to forgive WP but not him.

(note that AP does have his own long term boyfriend in an open relationship, and also started dating another person online).

AP doesn't post about the situation as often anymore but our mutual friend (who sometimes gives me updates when we're bored and want to gossip) told me that he recently posted a very bitter tweet, upset that we were all still friends with each other "despite the fact that WP cheated" on me. i wish i could understand how someone can be so ignorant and petty and un-self aware.

its this self victimisation and stubbornness to move on that just baffles me. AP has many other friends and plenty of loved ones, is financially well off and lives a comfortable life. i can't understand how he's still stuck in this headspace, unable to face the fact that people make mistakes, including himself, and should take responsibility to better themselves and move on from events and people that have passed.

i guess its not really my circus nor my monkey anymore, i shouldn't let it bother me but it makes me kinda sad that AP didn't have to put in the Very Hard work to fix anything, and is living off of the sympathy of people around him while making no improvement to his own life. it seems like a miserable way to go about it but im a little envious that he gets to slack off this much emotionally..

rant over i guess :/