4yr old cockatiel advice please

Hello! I am looking for some advice! I got a cockatiel in beginning of November, poor girl has been thru 2 homes in her 4 years I'm her 3rd. she does seem to be showing signs of getting used to us, she steps up, usually after she thinks about running away, she still hisses at us occasionally, she has finally started to come and sit in the door of her cage but she doesn't act like she wants anything to do with us really. she doesn't want to be on my shoulder or outside her cage at all basically. I know it takes time and patience. I'm doing that. Giving her all the time she needs I promised her this would be her last and forever home. I guess what I'm asking is do u all have any advice to get her to like me? Every time I go to)11! her cage and talk softly or just stand and talk to her she starts to shake?? it breaks my heart I don't know if she's scared or nervous or what? I just want to show her I love her, she is safe and she can actually be a bird now! Any advice is appreciated. also she now has a huge cage tons of toys and new foods the poor girls never even tried she was on a seed only diet. I just want her to be happy. Is this still an adjustment period 🤔 ?? Last thing she seems to like guys a bit more than women. I am a woman and she seems to just kind of disregard me unless I'm doing something in her cage or trying to work work her. she just runs from me then and I don't want to chase her with my hands scaring her 😫. please ANY advice I am allllll ears!! sorry this is kind of all over the place!