narrative marking

Would anybody be able to help mark my narrative according to 0500 ? Would be a great help as my mocks are tomorrow :) out of 40 mark

It was a casual evening, movies and popcorn. Typical, right? Amidst the gentle amber glow and my food delivery on the way, things seemed picture perfect. The evening one could only dream of.

The doorbell chimed - an indicator my pizza was finally here. ‘’It’ll be $7.99’’ he said. The door shut. I could finally have my moment of peace. Moment.

Barely halfway through the movie, the doorbell cut through the laughter and occasional groans from the screen. Again? I wasn’t expecting anybody. My gut told me not to open the door, and so I didn’t. It rang again. ‘’Can’t they just leave?’’ I muttered under my breath - loud enough for me to hear, quiet enough for them not to.

And the bell went off. Again. And again. And again.

My head and my heart were conflicting with one another; my heart was worrying if they needed help. My head was yelling at me to stop being so naive, especially after last time. I grasped the door handle, the bell continuously going. Should I? Should I not?

Still holding on, I looked behind me, my living room. I then saw myself. Slightly younger. He was rushing through the drawers, looking for anything that could put me in pain. I captured myself weak and helpless. It was the same living room, only entirely different. It was the same living room, but I came out of it another person three years ago. I was brought back to the smell, the stench of cheap cologne mixed with fake silver. The lighting was sharp and fluorescent. The air was dense and heavy. Tears were streaming and my eyes were tingling. And in the crevices of my head, the ringing was still there. I could not escape from the noise. I will never be able to.

I couldn’t bear the sight. I looked back at the handle, still grasping it. Suddenly, the world went quiet. The television was still glaring, only now the end credits were playing. Where did it all go? Him? I? The bright lights were now dim again. As if there were no signs of anything happening. No doorbells ringing, no forced entry. What was that?

The power memories hold.