Why is having a crush so hard

So I(f) have liked this guy friend of mine for like 3 months we are both 15 and I really want to tell him that I like him but I can’t tell if he likes me back like everywhere’s says guys are easy to tell if they like you but I’m honestly so blind when it comes to that stuff and when I actually do notice something it’s mixed signals so I don’t know and it’s honestly eating me up inside because I want him so badly but I don’t want to reck out friendship