Fuck, fuck, fuckitty-fuck-fuck-fuck

I wouldn't say I "struggle with same sex attraction", because I've already mastered it since I was 15. Any way, by now, I've achieved sexual duality; I'm a same sex attraction master at this point.

I have a crush on two classmates; one is a guy, itago natin sa pangalang "Roman", the other being a girl itago natin sa pangalang "Monica"

(These two paragraph specifically for explaining their personalities, so it kinda makes sense how bad the situation was) Roman is a fellow of good looks and princely attitude whenever I'm around, other wise, he mingles with the wrong crowd and acts like a delinquent. He pats my head, wraps his arm around me, hugs me from behind, and rests his head on my shoulde

Monica has the face of a princess, but she is also brash and vulgar when provoked. My first impression of her was that she was a dumb, mean girl bimbo, given how ghetto but beautiful she is. I was wrong, though. She may be vain with her looks, but she has the work ethics and academic skills to back it up. My dynamic with Monica is similar to that of Brief and Panty from PASWG.

It is also worth mentioning that the three of us made it to the achievers list during the with-honors recognition ceremony last school year; personally, competence is fawking hot, dem numbers on their report cards turn me tf on.

Now that you have a loose idea what kind of people they are, I'll now explain the incident that happened today.

Monica was sitting beside me, our applied economics teacher discussing to us about supply and demand.

She whispered to me. "Sama ka sa field trip?"

I shake my head left to right. "Masyadong mahal."

"Ako rin. Pero sa prom, sasama ka?"

"Oo!" I say with a smile.

"May date ka sa Valentine's? Aabutin mo ng flowers, ganyan?"

My eyes widen and I press my lips shut.

"Di ko sasabihin..." Said I looking at the teacher as he wrote charts and numbers on the board.

"Maganda ba?"

"Yung isa oo, isa hindi."

She chuckles at this, thinking I was talking about two girls. "Bwisit ka! Sino yan?"

She then starts listing names of our female classmates. The answer was always the same: HINDI

"Yung isa kase hindi maganda, gwapo yun eh."

"Ay..." Her playful smile turning into a face of disgust and confusion.

"Sige nga, clue." She says immediately.

"Uh... Kung babae lang ako, kinasuhan ko na siya ng sexual harrassment nung grade eleven pa tayo.."

She clocked that shit immediately. "Roman?"

"Bakit?" She asks.

"Why not?" I stare into the white board.

"Siguro..." Is what she replies to my curve ball. "Sino naman yung babae?"

"Di ko sasabihin.."

"Huh? Bakit? Ako lang to."

"Mas mahirap naman kasi i-keep itong pangalawang secret. Wala naman kasing out of the ordinary kung ang lalaki nagkakagusto sa babae diba?"

Today was a disaster. My male crush probably heard my female crush exposing me by screaming his name out loud, and at the same instance I found out the she's biphobic from her disgusted expression, telling me I have no chance of getting with her now. Not to mention she almost knew, I like her.

I'm gonna die alone.