is it possible that i am too broken?

26 year old transfem here. i’ve been on hormones for 2 years. im happier with my body but not happy enough. i hate so much about how i look, my body, my mannerisms, things i don’t have… and honestly i blame myself for it. like, why me? why do so many other women just never have to think about being women while i have to fight for a consolation prize? my childhood was privileged but packed with emotional neglect and intense expectations. all that mattered was how i looked to others.

i’ve tried so much and nothing helps. i just constantly have emotional flashbacks and shame attacks. they always come back. i think i am just… too broken. too traumatized. my CPTSD and depression are too much to ever truly overcome