Husband here, seeking advice egg donor…

Alright so this is a two and a half year story, with six rounds of IVF. We had paid for our first three rounds, then I made a career jump to a company that had fertility coverage which gave us our other three. Round 2- we got pregnant and lost the baby around week 4 or 5. Never actually developed a heart beat. So here we are. IVF isn’t working. I refuse to keep funding beyond the insurance allotment as I just feel like we are lighting money on fire. We are in this and navigating a female factor, and just stating for facts- not a tit for tat implication. We have accepted a donor egg being our last shot at this. We do not qualify for the assurance programs due to my wife having fibroids, pcos, and something else…

We have two donors that fit after my poor wife has gone through what feels like 3 million candidates. We have two options.

Donor 1- 6 egg lot, no more. They were retrieved and frozen about 6 years ago. She and I are a 100% genetic match. The donor is Mexican by descent, has a successful pregnancy. Looks very Mexican. Not to be shallow I have some concerns about going through the birthing process and my wife be left with someone that has a potential to not resemble her at all. Also please have the take away here being only 6 eggs available.

There is one other donor, that has 14 eggs. We would be purchasing a two lot cohort? Excuse me if that’s not proper terminology. Everything I have genetically is free and clear except for one thing…serpina1. I have a recessive gene. There is no confirmation of the donor as she was not tested for it. Based on her ethnic blood line, German, Irish, Mexican, the genetic counselors are saying there is a 1:200 chance she has the recessive gene, and if so there is a chance it would affect the child. This donor again has 14 eggs- which I would hope could

Potentially yield higher chance at a successful pregnancy…

We’ve made pro and cons lists. I know what we are considering but I’d appreciate some perspective if any of you going through this would lend to maybe gain a few other angles of looking at the situation. This process is not fun, it’s a huge strain on us- emotionally, physically for her, financially- list goes on.

Thanks in advance. Sorry to all of us that find us here, but a beautiful community of support and an unbelievably strong group of women with sheer resilience and determination.