I messed up at work and now I can’t stop being anxious 😬

I’ll try to make this short. I work for “unnamed government mailing service” where I kind of fast tracked it to supervisor in two years. Not hard but I had to really focus. I moved districts to do it. I’m retired military/100% disabled and I actually like this job because it keeps me busy and focused and helping others.

Now the frustrating part, this new office does things a lot differently than any of the other several offices I’m used too. There’s really no set OJT so to speak. I should have had a “welcome to being a supervisor” counseling, but that hasn’t happened.

So my first mess up, was a driver not coming inside to pick an accountable item up. In the two years I’ve worked for them, that’s never happened to me. I was going to own it and take the hit and informed my boss what happened. He basically called me an idiot. Another truck showed up and took it so I was saved.

A few days later, I’m closing and the boss wants me to cover vehicles with tarps before the impending snow storm, I forgot to put mail out on the dock. So I leave it in the office hoping everyone just thinks it’s for next distribution…which happens. I panicked.

I should note over been hypomanic for a month now. I shifted into this position almost without warning. I interviewed in the morning, had the job 90 min later. By that weekend, I was in the new office. I had no time to adjust. I work long hours. Which I knew. But I’m talking 12-14hours some days and not being taught all the special intricacies of that office. I’ve only been there 30 days.

Thing is after that last mishap, I’ve been on leave all week which was already planned because I was so behind on class work. I’m also in grad school. So I wake up in a panic. My blood pressure is up. I’m just assuming the worse until I get to work Monday. I keep catastrophizing the whole thing and I have no clue what’s going to happen. Though what ever does happen, when I come down, the crash is going to suck 😮‍💨 Any suggestions? (45f/ BP2 rapid cycling) TIA