i miss my baby boy

it only gets harder every day. i feel like im in a bad timeline or a nightmare i cant wake from. how is he gone? how did we not even get a decade together? he was only 8.5 years old. he was the best kitty in the world. i dont want to live without him, not yet. not now. he was in his prime. why did cancer take him? what did i do to deserve this pain?