Am I wrong to be bothered

Recently BM’s work schedule changed, so she and my SO worked out a new schedule for the kids. During the week it’s basically one day with her, one day with him, then every other weekend with each parent. It sounds chaotic, but it actually works for them.

What I wasn’t prepared for is how much stuff the kids forget now that they’re switching houses every day. Last week was the first week of the new schedule. My SO had them Monday/Wednesday and then Friday–Sunday. On both Monday and Wednesday, each kid forgot something at our house (which makes sense, they’re not used to packing daily yet).

What’s bothering me is how BM handled it.

On Monday, my SO and I were both at work. BM texted my SO saying “SD forgot X, can we grab it?” Before he could even respond, he got a call from SD saying she was already inside the house and couldn’t find the item. We have a keypad on the door, so BM had the kids come in. (She doesn't know the code, only the kids).

Same thing happened Wednesday with SS. Text first, then suddenly a call from the kid asking where the item is, already inside the house again.

What bugs me is that she didn’t wait for confirmation or ask if it was a good time. She just showed up and had the kids go in. We also have a security screen door that can be locked, but we’ve been leaving it unlocked for convenience because I hate fumbling for keys and prefer using the keypad.

Now I’m wondering if I’m overreacting.

I understand the kids are adjusting and will forget things at first. I also know this will probably get better once they’re used to packing daily. But something about BM feeling that comfortable pulling up and letting the kids enter the house without a clear yes doesn’t sit right with me.

Am I blowing this out of proportion? Should this just be a “new schedule growing pains” thing I let go, or is it reasonable to want clearer boundaries here?